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That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could possibly be this varied. Thank you for all of the enthusiasm to supply such tips here.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Comments (565)
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Posted on July 8, 2011 2:31 PM
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Posted on July 8, 2011 8:24 PM
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Posted on July 8, 2011 9:27 PM
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Posted on July 8, 2011 9:27 PM
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Posted on July 8, 2011 10:59 PM
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Posted on July 8, 2011 11:45 PM
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Posted on July 9, 2011 1:35 AM
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:03 AM
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:03 AM
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:53 AM
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:53 AM
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:54 AM
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:41 AM
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:56 AM
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:24 AM
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:24 AM
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:59 AM
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:59 AM
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:59 AM
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Posted on July 9, 2011 5:13 AM
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:17 AM
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:18 AM
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:48 AM
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:48 AM
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Posted on July 9, 2011 8:24 AM
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Posted on July 9, 2011 9:08 AM
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Posted on July 9, 2011 9:09 AM
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:00 AM
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:22 AM
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:29 AM
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:29 AM
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Posted on July 9, 2011 11:33 AM
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Posted on July 9, 2011 11:34 AM
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Posted on July 9, 2011 11:39 AM
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Posted on July 9, 2011 1:30 PM
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Posted on July 9, 2011 1:41 PM
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:41 PM
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:50 PM
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:51 PM
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:51 PM
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:54 PM
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Posted on July 9, 2011 2:54 PM
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:07 PM
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:19 PM
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:53 PM
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Posted on July 9, 2011 3:54 PM
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:10 PM
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:10 PM
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Posted on July 9, 2011 4:17 PM
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:03 PM
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Posted on July 9, 2011 6:04 PM
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Posted on July 9, 2011 7:27 PM
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Posted on July 9, 2011 7:29 PM
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posted on July 9, 2011 7:55 PM
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Posted on July 9, 2011 7:56 PM
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Posted on July 9, 2011 7:57 PM
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Posted on July 9, 2011 9:14 PM
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Posted on July 9, 2011 9:15 PM
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Posted on July 9, 2011 9:15 PM
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:03 PM
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:07 PM
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:19 PM
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Posted on July 9, 2011 10:37 PM
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Posted on July 9, 2011 11:13 PM
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Posted on July 9, 2011 11:26 PM
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Posted on July 10, 2011 12:31 AM
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Posted on July 10, 2011 1:02 AM
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Posted on July 10, 2011 1:12 AM
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Posted on July 10, 2011 1:54 AM
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:10 AM
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:11 AM
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:30 AM
If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:07 AM
If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:08 AM
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:08 AM
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:13 AM
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:22 AM
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Posted on July 10, 2011 5:58 AM
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:11 AM
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:16 AM
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:33 AM
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:33 AM
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:05 AM
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:43 AM
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:55 AM
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:12 AM
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:29 AM
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:37 AM
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:52 AM
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Posted on July 10, 2011 9:47 AM
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:03 AM
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:21 AM
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:21 AM
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:52 AM
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:52 AM
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:10 AM
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:11 AM
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:12 AM
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:13 AM
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:24 AM
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:47 AM
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Posted on July 10, 2011 12:14 PM
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Posted on July 10, 2011 12:59 PM
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Posted on July 10, 2011 1:03 PM
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Posted on July 10, 2011 1:04 PM
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Posted on July 10, 2011 2:02 PM
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Posted on July 10, 2011 2:07 PM
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Posted on July 10, 2011 2:27 PM
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Posted on July 10, 2011 2:36 PM
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Posted on July 10, 2011 2:36 PM
Why don't you write books people can read?
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:01 PM
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:02 PM
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:03 PM
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:12 PM
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:13 PM
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:18 PM
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:18 PM
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Posted on July 10, 2011 3:19 PM
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:01 PM
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:10 PM
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:10 PM
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:10 PM
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Posted on July 10, 2011 4:48 PM
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:17 PM
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:32 PM
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:33 PM
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:34 PM
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Posted on July 10, 2011 5:35 PM
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:21 PM
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:43 PM
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:44 PM
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:44 PM
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:47 PM
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:49 PM
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:49 PM
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Posted on July 10, 2011 6:50 PM
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:14 PM
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:20 PM
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:20 PM
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:37 PM
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:50 PM
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Posted on July 10, 2011 7:50 PM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:14 PM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:14 PM
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:22 PM
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:26 PM
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:26 PM
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Posted on July 10, 2011 8:26 PM
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Posted on July 10, 2011 9:11 PM
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Posted on July 10, 2011 9:12 PM
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Posted on July 10, 2011 9:53 PM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:12 PM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:12 PM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:13 PM
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:23 PM
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Posted on July 10, 2011 10:28 PM
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:04 PM
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:20 PM
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:26 PM
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:27 PM
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:27 PM
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Posted on July 10, 2011 11:45 PM
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:08 AM
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:21 AM
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:36 AM
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:11 AM
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:34 AM
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:19 AM
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:20 AM
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:20 AM
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:28 AM
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Posted on July 11, 2011 3:00 AM
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Posted on July 11, 2011 3:04 AM
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Posted on July 11, 2011 3:05 AM
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Posted on July 11, 2011 3:08 AM
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Posted on July 11, 2011 3:33 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 11, 2011 4:46 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 11, 2011 4:46 AM
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:18 AM
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:39 AM
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:46 AM
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:52 AM
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:53 AM
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:54 AM
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Posted on July 11, 2011 7:06 AM
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Posted on July 11, 2011 7:07 AM
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Posted on July 11, 2011 7:08 AM
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Posted on July 11, 2011 7:46 AM
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:06 AM
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:06 AM
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:07 AM
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:18 AM
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Posted on July 11, 2011 9:28 AM
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Posted on July 11, 2011 9:56 AM
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Posted on July 11, 2011 10:21 AM
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Posted on July 11, 2011 10:44 AM
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Posted on July 11, 2011 10:45 AM
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Posted on July 11, 2011 10:48 AM
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Posted on July 11, 2011 10:48 AM
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:13 PM
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:33 PM
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted on July 11, 2011 12:34 PM
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:36 PM
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:51 PM
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:52 PM
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Posted on July 11, 2011 1:59 PM
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:21 PM
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:24 PM
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Posted on July 11, 2011 2:42 PM
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Posted on July 11, 2011 4:53 PM
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:47 PM
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:47 PM
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Posted on July 11, 2011 5:58 PM
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Posted on July 11, 2011 6:01 PM
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Posted on July 11, 2011 6:39 PM
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Posted on July 11, 2011 6:40 PM
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Posted on July 11, 2011 6:58 PM
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Posted on July 11, 2011 6:58 PM
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:24 PM
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:24 PM
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:41 PM
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Posted on July 11, 2011 8:49 PM
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Posted on July 11, 2011 9:03 PM
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Posted on July 11, 2011 9:51 PM
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Posted on July 11, 2011 9:56 PM
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Posted on July 11, 2011 11:19 PM
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:18 AM
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:22 AM
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:22 AM
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:41 AM
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:29 AM
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:32 AM
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:50 AM
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:55 AM
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:03 AM
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:04 AM
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:27 AM
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:23 AM
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:53 AM
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:55 AM
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:56 AM
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Posted on July 12, 2011 4:00 AM
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Posted on July 12, 2011 4:27 AM
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:01 AM
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:01 AM
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:53 AM
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:42 AM
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:53 AM
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:54 AM
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:00 AM
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:00 AM
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:01 AM
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:26 AM
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:02 AM
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:08 AM
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:42 AM
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:42 AM
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:42 AM
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:46 AM
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:26 AM
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:30 AM
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:30 AM
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:43 AM
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:44 AM
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Posted on July 12, 2011 10:28 AM
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Posted on July 12, 2011 10:59 AM
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:18 AM
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:19 AM
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:32 AM
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:36 AM
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:40 AM
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:40 AM
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:41 AM
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:42 AM
Hi there, what's up you guys???
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:47 AM
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:57 AM
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:12 PM
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:33 PM
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Posted on July 12, 2011 12:43 PM
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:55 PM
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Posted on July 12, 2011 1:55 PM
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:48 PM
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:49 PM
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:59 PM
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Posted on July 12, 2011 2:59 PM
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:27 PM
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:32 PM
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:33 PM
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:50 PM
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Posted on July 12, 2011 3:51 PM
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:31 PM
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:33 PM
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Posted on July 12, 2011 5:37 PM
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:27 PM
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:38 PM
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:39 PM
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:50 PM
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Posted on July 12, 2011 6:57 PM
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:09 PM
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Posted on July 12, 2011 7:12 PM
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:05 PM
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:05 PM
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:06 PM
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:17 PM
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:30 PM
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:44 PM
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:58 PM
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Posted on July 12, 2011 8:59 PM
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Posted on July 12, 2011 9:10 PM
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Posted on July 12, 2011 10:17 PM
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:04 PM
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:05 PM
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:51 PM
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:52 PM
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Posted on July 12, 2011 11:53 PM
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:31 AM
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:35 AM
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:47 AM
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Posted on July 13, 2011 1:25 AM
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:08 AM
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:29 AM
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:30 AM
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:58 AM
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:58 AM
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:14 AM
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:48 AM
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:54 AM
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:54 AM
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:55 AM
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:09 AM
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:10 AM
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:24 AM
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:10 AM
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:11 AM
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:19 AM
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:19 AM
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:27 AM
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:28 AM
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:43 AM
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:45 AM
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:46 AM
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:55 AM
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:58 AM
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:59 AM
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Posted on July 13, 2011 7:04 AM
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Posted on July 13, 2011 7:05 AM
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:39 AM
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:39 AM
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:41 AM
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:44 AM
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:46 AM
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:46 AM
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:47 AM
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:48 AM
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:48 AM
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:48 AM
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:48 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:02 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:02 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:02 AM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:02 AM
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:03 AM
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:05 AM
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:05 AM
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:05 AM
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:06 AM
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:16 AM
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:17 AM
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:19 AM
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:19 AM
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:20 AM
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:20 AM
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:32 AM
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:38 AM
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:39 AM
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Posted on July 13, 2011 10:42 AM
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:44 AM
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:07 AM
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:08 AM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:22 AM
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:24 AM
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:39 AM
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Posted on July 13, 2011 11:40 AM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:03 PM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:04 PM
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:04 PM
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:05 PM
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:09 PM
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:17 PM
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Posted on July 13, 2011 12:36 PM
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Posted on July 13, 2011 1:26 PM
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Posted on July 13, 2011 1:36 PM
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Posted on July 13, 2011 1:47 PM
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:31 PM
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Posted on July 13, 2011 2:31 PM
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:32 PM
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:36 PM
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:47 PM
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:47 PM
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Posted on July 13, 2011 3:51 PM
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:12 PM
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Posted on July 13, 2011 4:12 PM
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:00 PM
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:14 PM
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:51 PM
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Posted on July 13, 2011 5:53 PM
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:01 PM
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:22 PM
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:34 PM
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:34 PM
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:38 PM
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:47 PM
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:53 PM
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:55 PM
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:56 PM
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Posted on July 13, 2011 6:58 PM
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Posted on July 13, 2011 7:38 PM
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Posted on July 13, 2011 7:45 PM
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:08 PM
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:14 PM
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Posted on July 13, 2011 8:27 PM
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:22 PM
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:29 PM
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:29 PM
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:29 PM
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:42 PM
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:50 PM
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Posted on July 13, 2011 9:56 PM
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:02 PM
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:24 PM
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Posted on July 13, 2011 10:43 PM